It's the most wonderful time of the year.....

.....

Why is it that Xmas seems to bring out the worst in people? It's like it becomes a competition to see who can ram the shopping cart up your ass faster and harder than the previous, who can jack the parking spot you're about to back into, and how fast can you run through the mall (visions of old OJ Simpson commercials come to mind) to get the gift that really mattered but because of high demand and low stock, someone else has beaten you to it?

The joy has been taken out of the season by shopping maniacs! Don't even try to go to Costco during the month of December.. You have to make your own parking spot because half the population of the planet is in there buying out 5 gazillion rolls of asswipe because you know with the holidays, you just might run out.

Isn't the stress of trying to find the perfect gift bad enough without having some irate shopper beat down on you?

Normally I like to complete my Xmas shopping well before the December 24th deadline as in the week before Christmas there's generally nothing left on the shelves and everyone and their mother, sick or healthy are packed into the malls like sardines in a can, which generally means if I venture into one at this point, I'll most likely get sick. It took me a month and a half to drag out of my sister what size her daughter takes, and even then my other sister had to tell me.. now I can't even get out of my sister what she wants for Xmas, or my brother in law and I still have one niece and nephew who I have yet to buy for. Ugh. I've decided I'll just throw some money at them and they can go deal with it themselves.

Christmas celebrations began a week ago, as I went to Ottawa to have an early Christmas with my family there.. The kids were happy with their presents (as my son put it, "it's the best christmas ever!!"). This weekend I let them open their gifts at home, since we're on the road driving to New Jersey on Christmas Day. Last year I let them open their presents on Christmas Eve and the poor little buggers didn't have enough time to truly enjoy their presents and they spent most of the vacation saying.."I can't wait to get home so I can play with....." So now they have a week to get it out of their system.

Oh well, back to packing up gifts..

And that's a wrap!

The curious case of..

Back, from another absence.. although smaller this time..

We have been working on a new product at work (to be released to the general public sometime next week) so work has been insane, plus I had a kid from Madrid with me for 2 weeks, then ended up with another for an extra week.. so I was a temporary tour guide as well as workaholic for the last 3 weeks. Of course all this wouldn't be complete without throwing a cold in there too. I felt horrible last week, but couldn't take any time off due to the boss being on vacation and me being in charge and of course the impending release. Ack.

Of course with all the paranoia about swine flu, everytime I coughed or sneezed people were wondering if I was going to infect them or not, so I spent a couple of days walking around snorting and oinking.. :)

With my new found downtime, I finally managed to watch The Curious Case of Benjamin Buttons last night and was totally surprised by this movie. I didn't expect to like it as much as I did, but it was a great movie..

Now that I have caught up on laundry and housework, I'm going to be a dedicated couch potato today. Let's see what other movies I can catch up on.

Lying about your age..

..has now taken on new heights.

I was browsing some weird 50's ads on one site and clicked a link accidently that lead me to a site called ShopInPrivate.com. Well, being the curious individual that I am, I browsed around the site and thought I had seen everything until I came across this.

Anal Bleaching Cream

It's purpose is to lighten up your exit (which apparently darkens with age) so you can look younger all over.

Buy some today! No point in telling people you're 35 when your backdoor clearly states you're 50!

I'm baaaaack..

After three glorious weeks away from Montreal and then 2 weeks spent trying to catch up to everything that went on while I was gone.

What's the point of having a vacation, if they are just going to save all the work for you when you get back? What about mass distribution? Here, you do this, he does that and when she comes back she can just pick up and follow along. But, noooooooo..

So it was a lovely three weeks, and since I left on a Tuesday afternoon - NO BORDER WAIT TIMES! Yes! It was the fastest border crossing every.. Hi! Where you going? How long you staying? Are these all your kids? Ok, have fun! Vrooom.

The the guy working the toll booth at Harriman was checking me out. "Do you need a receipt m'am?" ME: Nah, I'm allright. Toll Booth worker craning his neck to stare at my legs (because I'm wearing shorts) "OH yeah, you're allright.." Gee thanks I feel much better now!

Spent the first few days down there taxiing Mom around, because she wouldn't be Mom if she didn't save up every little errand she has for the very first day I arrive. My sisters or brother can't drive her for some odd reason, so the task falls to me, every summer and every Christmas. Then help Mom around the house (it gets saved for me). Then on Sunday it was off to Wildwood for 6 glorious days lying on the beach doing sweet F-A. The place we stayed in was a great location, however the service sucked. The pillows were all yellow stained which was very obvious through the paper thin pillow cases, and I didn't even want to think about what the mattress looked like. I managed to get some cleaner pillows and another set of pillow cases for all. The towels were big enough to cover a baby's bum, so drying off after a shower was a workout. It was like polishing a car, but minus the Turtle Wax. We went up to Atlantic City for a day and strolled up and down the Boardwalk for 8 hours. At one point we left the kids in the Amusement park and ran across the way to Trump's Taj Mahal to lose some hard earned money and see where 3/4 of the retirement population hang out.

Then back up to North Jersey for another week of playing Mom's Taxi! Yay! We did take some time out to go over and take the Statue of Liberty/Ellis Island Cruise. In all the time we've been living there, we've never done that. It's always a novelty to play tourist in your home field. In my case I have two home fields so I'm always playing tourist somewhere. I highly recommend the Cruise. At 12$ a pop, you get your money's worth, just as long as you don't spend $200 in souvenirs like my Mother.

"But Mom, we live like 20 minutes from here, what do you need souvenirs for?"

"Shhhh now help me find a souvenir for your brother!"

We also got to see the Queen Mary 2 sailing out of New York harbor bound for Southhampton. It's quite an impressive site!

Towards the end of the week it was back down to the Shore again, only to my sister's Shore house in Brick where we have our annual neighbourhood beach party. Over 500 people showed up and the new band that was hired kept people dancing all night.

The only thing I didn't get to do was go over to Central Park, but really go in to NYC around the July 4th holiday? I'm crazy, but not certifiable. So Central Park will get saved for Xmas..

I'm already planning next year's vacation. A one month road trip of the Southwestern US. With the kids. I think that's close to being certifiable.

No Doubt....

..they were great!

Slow day..

Ever go to your blog and click on the link at the top of the page that says Next blog? Then mindlessly surf through the plethora of blogs available?

Unfortunately most of the ones I "next'd" through weren't even in english. In fact, I couldn't identify half the languages I came across.

Such a slow day at work today I'm doing all I can to prevent my mind from liquifying.

6 more days until my vacation. Then I can become one with mind mish.

A thought...

Here in Quebec, the liquor board's acronym is the SAQ..

The Department of Motor Vehicles is SAAQ..

A little confusing if you don't want to drink and drive.