Driving music..

I have been trying to compose a CD or 2 with songs that are great to drive to. So far from my own personal favourites I have this list:

Rudy - Supertramp
Highway to Hell - AC/DC
This is not America - David Bowie
The Chain - Fleetwood Mac
Highway Star - Deep Purple
Orange Crush - REM
Detroit Rock City - Kiss
Second Hand News - Fleetwood Mac
The Mexican - Babe Ruth
Kashmir - Led Zeppelin

Now I know there are more than that out there but damned if I can think of them! So how about some input. Anyone?

It seems my next concert attendance will be No Doubt. My daughter has been hinting that she'd like to go and she's never been to a concert before. Should be fun!


Mental spewings.. ya..

I'm surrounded by spewings.. Kid B and C have been puking for the last day and a bit.. With a bucket bucket here, and a bucket bucket there.. My only hopes is that the eldest doesn't get it or me for that matter.

To further complicate this mess, I have a homestay student arriving on Sunday from Spain who will be staying with me for 2 weeks. I can see the scene now at the aeropuerto..




This concert was absolutely amazing, so glad I went.

I seriously hope I can look that good at 60.


How to lose friends and alienate other countries..

..and this was done just as 4 of our dead were returned home.


Back to work...

I went back to work today and now I'm completely bagged.

I found myself falling back into my night owl routine, and last night had trouble falling asleep at a reasonable time.

While the time off is nice, it's the whole readjustment period to going back that sucks!


The Clinic.

I spent a good 3.5 hours of my time today at The Clinic. I got there at 7:25am to be greeted with a line up just to get into The Clinc. You'd think this was the only clinic in town! So after 10 minutes of fidgeting in line, the doors were opened and like lemmings, we all piled in. Now I'm there for a suspected strep throat, which is highly contagious and you'd think that once I tell the triage nurse that, they'd put me off somewhere else. No, no. I still got sat down with the horkers, the sneezers, the pukers and the one lady who looked like she had a bladder infection (since she kept fidgeting in her chair, crossing and uncrossing her legs and running to the bathroom every 10 minutes (later confirmed when she ran off to the bathroom with a sample cup)).

I got to see the doctor after a 2 hour wait, and he says the same thing I thought. "I suspect it's strep" and he orders up a lab culture and then tells me "if it's strep I can't let you go to work until Monday.." however he sends me back out to the full to capacity waiting room where I managed to squeeze in a seat again better the half asleep teenager and the coughing old man. Half an hour later I get called to the lab to get my throat swabbed with the warning "please don't puke or cough on me when I do this.." Ok I'll try. 15 minutes later I was handed a prescription for penicillin and a note saying I can't return to work until March 23rd, which btw, cost $20. Yep, $20 for a piece of paper that has 2 check boxes a line to fill in the date and a line for the signature. I'm in the wrong business.

I imagine now that half the people I was sitting near will be back at that clinic in 3-5 days time with strep, and I will be horking/sneezing/puking but hopefully avoiding the bladder infection.

It's a wonderful life. Really!


The wonderful thing about spring..

..is the thaw brings out all the virii and germs that were dormant from the cold.

I dealt with the flu bug a week and a half ago. Then dealt with my son's impetigo last week. Seems like I'm heading back to the clinic in the morning to get my throat dealt with. From past history it appears to be strep. Feels like strep, looks like strep, so chances are I'm off work for another 2 days and antibiotics for 10.

I try not to use all my sick days at the beginning of the year, but this time of year sucks them up like a vacuum cleaner.


Shaking cobwebs

Why is it, the more sleep I get, the more tired I feel? I've never understood that. It's like the whole sleep thing was just a huge waste of my time. I could have been up all night enjoying infomercials about snuggies and knives, weight loss and exercise and probably still felt as awake as I do now.

I dozed off on the couch around 10 (which seems to be my thing now after kid's birthday parties), crawled up to bed at midnight (although I don't remember much of that) and slept right through to my alarm at 6:45, but I feel like I'm trawling through molasses.

Warmer weather is finally coming this way. It is supposed to go up to 42 today, and then climb all the way up to 50 tomorrow. Time to break out the t-shirts and shorts. You're probably thinking well it's not that warm. See, up here when you've had -20 and -30 temperatures, 52 feels like a heat wave at first, until the temperatures get warmer and eventually 52 will be more of of a jeans and sweater kinda day. So it's not uncommon to see people walking around up here in shorts and tees, while there are still snowbanks in the background.

In future, if I find myself awake in the middle of the night, I could possibly be watching this. What will they think of next.


Spring is here...

...and girls are starting to show their bellybuttons.



I don't know what to call this one. I was searching for a Carlos Mencia skit about friendship, and came across a video. However, it's not exactly Carlos Mencia in the video. Someone decided to put the Friendship skit to anime. It's vulgar and hilarious. Enjoy.

Carlos Mencia Friendship Skit - The best video clips are here


A little U2 ..

.. to start the day..


Welcome to teendom.

If that's even a word.

It was my son's 13th birthday today and the poor kid had to spend half of it at the emergency walk-in clinic.

A few days ago he had a couple of minute red spots on his face resembling pimples. So I made a joke saying that what he was getting for his 13th birthday was pimples as his initiation to becoming a teenager. Well he came home yesterday and they had grown, but still looked like pimples. This morning however, they had grown again, and some had ruptured and were leaking down his face. Gross I know, but imagine how the poor kid felt! So at 7:30 this morning we ended up at the emergency walk-in, yawning, tired and hungry. Within an hour we had a diagnosis; impetigo and the doctor put him off school until Friday because he is contagious.

His comment on the whole thing? "What a way to spend my birthday, but at least I get time off school."

And that's what counts.

Talking Clock

After closing time at the bar, a drunk was proudly showing off his new apartment to a couple of his friends. He led the way to his bedroom where there was a big brass gong and a mallet.

"What's that big brass gong?" one of the guests asked.

"It's not a gong. It's a talking clock",the drunk replied.

"A talking clock? Seriously?" asked his astonished friend.

"Yup", replied the drunk.

"How's it work the friend asked", squinting at it.

"Watch", the drunk replied. He picked up the mallet, gave the gong an ear-shattering pound and stepped back.

The three stood looking at one another for a moment.......

Suddenly, someone on the other side of the wall screamed, "You asshole! It' three-fifteen in the morning!"


Facts about Canada

Now that Vancouver has won the chance to host the 2010 Winter Olympics,these are some questions people from all over the world are asking. Believe it or not these questions about Canada were posted on an International Tourism Website. Obviously the answers are a joke; but the questions were really asked!

Q: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants grow?(England)
A. We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and watch them die.

Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA)
A: Depends on how much you've been drinking.

Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto -can I follow the Railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only four thousand miles, take lots of water.

Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada ? (Sweden)
A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.

Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Canada ? Can you send me a list of them in Toronto, Vancouver, Edmonton and Halifax ? (England)
A: What, did your last slave die?

Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada ? (USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe .. Ca-na-da is that big country to your North...oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary. Come naked.

Q: Which direction is North in Canada ? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.

Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada ?(England)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-t ri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Vancouver and in Calgary, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.

Q: Do you have perfume in Canada ? (Germany)
A: No, WE don't stink.

Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Where can I sell it in Canada ? (USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.

Q: Can you tell me the regions in British Columbia where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.

Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada ? (USA)
A: Only at Thanksgiving.

Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year round?(Germany)A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of Vegan hunter/gathers. Milk is illegal.

Q:I have a question about a famous animal in Canada, but I forget its name. It's a kind of big horse with horns. (USA)
A: It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent, eating the brains of anyone walking close to them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.

Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.


Needs more jiggawatts..

I am back at work this morning with only a bit of a cough left. I don't know what has me more tired at the moment, the cold, or the whole one hour time shift. My clock said 6:30 this morning when the alarm went off, however my body was saying "Sod off, it's only 5:30" and just wanted to go back into a coma. My voice may take a few days to recover it's girlish sound as right now I sound like a wandering transvestite.

Some interesting headlines from Fark this morning..

When asked about the suspected mass grave beneath her house, she responded, "No wonder our plants grow so well"

Speed limits on rural roads in the UK may be cut from 60 to 50mph to save lives. No word on how many lives would be saved by driving on the right side of the road

Percentage of Americans calling themselves "Christian" drops 11% in one generation. They were blinded by science

And the worst one of the day goes to

Pastor shot and killed during Sunday services. *pew*pew*pew

I also came back to find my intern had been fired. Not like I didn't see that one coming.

Back to my tea and my testing.


Fevered musings..

I feel bad for my kids. They have been on Spring Break for the last week and my plan was to go to work early so I could come home early and we could do stuff. Instead they got to watch Mom hack, sneeze, cough, blow nose and struggle to speak.

I hope none of them have to write an essay on "How I spent spring break.." when they get back..

It was the worst of times, it was the phlegmiest of times.

Lock, stock and two smoking nostrils.

While my nose gently drips.

I could go on, but I think I'll stop now and drink some more tea.


You are not the baby's father..

Daytime TV sucks!

Here's some winter scenery instead.


Congested brain.

I am off sick today so I present to you my cat, waiting for his breakfast.


Mental fluff..

I wonder if it's the same as bellybutton fluff (you need to read this).

The party went really well if not a little noisy at times, but it could have been a lot worse. The police didn't show up so that's always a good thing. We started off at an all you can eat buffet, and ended back at my place where 5 of her friends stayed for the night. They played Clue, Monopoly, Scene It (Disney Version) and sang along with every Disney song in the book, laughed at stupid videos on Youtube and of course, played Rockband. They all piled out at 5pm yesterday and the house was finally quiet. The 5yo absolutely loved all the female attention though. He has all the makings of a Casanova..

The Sweet 16's of my era were never quite as tame. The whole 70's Me generation which sent most of our parents to the discos and swing parties with powder on their nose, left most of us pretty much unsupervised during our formative years. Sweet 16 parties that I went to always involved alcohol, drugs and at least one couple having sex in an unused room. Times have changed!

Next stop, Kid B's birthday in 9 days.