I need caffeine, or Red Bull or a couple of sticks of dynamite under my chair.
Zzzzzzzz…..
Started off today interviewing students for the summer session which isn’t too bad as some of them can be quite interesting. It’s when you get the deadpan ones that answer every question in a monotonous monosyllabic tone that your mind tends to wander off to your next vacation, what to eat for lunch, state of the world economics, etc. I was in a semi-comatose fog by the time the 4th student arrived, however once he entered the room I was wide awake and wishing for an oxygen tank. Wearing cologne is nice, and can smell wonderful when put on in appropriate amounts. This guy chose to marinate himself in ¾ of the bottle for the interview. It was the longest 15 minutes I’ve endured in a long time. My eyes were watering, my throat closed up and my nose felt like there was a midget with a blow torch in it. I went outside afterwards just to clear my head, nose, throat and eyeballs. Chances are I’ll hire the perfume-free girl with no experience because she looked eager and willing to learn. In the monotonous job of testing, one needs personality to survive.
For lunch I went to the local pet supply store because my daughter was running low on hamster food, the bird was running out of seed and frankly the drive would further clear out any lingering cologne effects. As I was walking through the store, the cashier came running up to me ‘I’ve been waiting for you to come back in since last year!!!” and then hands me $22 and a lottery ticket stub. I’m kind of dumbfounded at this point and she went on to explain that when I went into the store at some point last year before Christmas, she didn’t have all my change for the purchases I had made (came up to about 2 bucks), so I said to her, don’t worry about it when you do get it just go out and buy a lottery ticket with it, so she did and we apparently won $44. I’m still kinda dumbfounded, but it’s nice to know there are people like that out there..
I’ve had better luck with a complete stranger with a lottery than I have with the local office pool!
Well, break time is over, back to the grind!
[forwarded]
Instead of star signs, what's your business sign?
Marketing
You are ambitious yet stupid. You chose a marketing degree to avoid having to study in college, concentrating instead on drinking and socializing which is pretty much what your job responsibilities are now. Least compatible with sales.
Sales
Laziest of all signs, often referred to as "marketing without a degree." You are also self centered and paranoid. Unless someone calls you and begs you to take their money, you like to avoid contact with customers so you can "concentrate on the big picture." You seek admiration for your golf game throughout your life.
Technology
Unable to control anything in your personal life, you are instead content to completely control everything that happens at your workplace. Often even you don't understand what you are saying but who can tell. It is written that Geeks shall inherit the Earth.
Engineering
One of only two signs that actually studied in school. It is said that 90% of all personal ads are placed by engineers. Accounting: The only other sign that studied in school. You are mostly immune from office politics. You are the most feared person in the organisation; combined with your extreme organizational traits, the majority of rumours concerning you say that you are completely insane.
Human resources
Ironically, given your access to confidential information, you tend to be the biggest gossip within the organisation. Possibly the only other person that does less work than marketing, you are unable to return any calls today because you have to get a haircut and eat lunch.
Management and middle management
Catty, cut-throat, yet completely spineless, you are destined to remain at your current job for the rest of your life. Unable to make a single decision you tend to measure your worth by the number of meetings you can schedule for yourself. Romantically compatible with other middle managers as everyone in you social circle is a middle manager.
Senior management:
See above. Same sign, different title.
Customer service
Cheery, positive, you are a bus ride away from taking your own life. As children very few of you asked your parents for a little cubicle for your room and a headset so you could pretend to play "customer service". Continually passed over for promotions, your best bet is to sleep with your manager.
Consultant
Lacking any specific knowledge, you use acronyms to avoid revealing your utter lack of experience. You have convinced yourself that your skills are in demand and that you could get a higher paying job with any other organisation in a heartbeat. You will spend an eternity contemplating these career opportunities without ever taking direct action.
Head-hunter
As a person that profits from the success of others, you are disdained by most people who actually work for a living. Paid on commission and susceptible to alcoholism, your ulcers and frequent heart attacks correspond directly with fluctuations in the stock market.
Partner, president or CEO
You are brilliant or lucky. Your inability to understand complex systems such as the fax machine suggests the latter.
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