Questions that haunt me.

If you have sex with a prostitute against her will, is it considered rape, or shoplifting?

Can you cry under water?

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated and not just murdered?

Why do you have to "put your two cents in" but it's only "a penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going?

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the same clothes you were buried in for eternity?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

What disease did cured ham actually have?

How is it that we put a man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it sill called a hearing?

Why are you in a movie, but you're on TV?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.

Why is bra singular and panties plural?

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours?

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that aAcme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's on your ass?

Did you ever notice that wne you blow in a dog's face, he gets made at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

1 comment:

  1. I am furiously consulting my magic eight ball for answers.


Leave me some grey matter.