Business Star Signs


Instead of star signs, what's your business sign?

You are ambitious yet stupid. You chose a marketing degree to avoid having to study in college, concentrating instead on drinking and socializing which is pretty much what your job responsibilities are now. Least compatible with sales.

Laziest of all signs, often referred to as "marketing without a degree." You are also self centered and paranoid. Unless someone calls you and begs you to take their money, you like to avoid contact with customers so you can "concentrate on the big picture." You seek admiration for your golf game throughout your life.

Unable to control anything in your personal life, you are instead content to completely control everything that happens at your workplace. Often even you don't understand what you are saying but who can tell. It is written that Geeks shall inherit the Earth.

One of only two signs that actually studied in school. It is said that 90% of all personal ads are placed by engineers. Accounting: The only other sign that studied in school. You are mostly immune from office politics. You are the most feared person in the organisation; combined with your extreme organizational traits, the majority of rumours concerning you say that you are completely insane.

Human resources
Ironically, given your access to confidential information, you tend to be the biggest gossip within the organisation. Possibly the only other person that does less work than marketing, you are unable to return any calls today because you have to get a haircut and eat lunch.

Management and middle management
Catty, cut-throat, yet completely spineless, you are destined to remain at your current job for the rest of your life. Unable to make a single decision you tend to measure your worth by the number of meetings you can schedule for yourself. Romantically compatible with other middle managers as everyone in you social circle is a middle manager.

Senior management:
See above. Same sign, different title.

Customer service
Cheery, positive, you are a bus ride away from taking your own life. As children very few of you asked your parents for a little cubicle for your room and a headset so you could pretend to play "customer service". Continually passed over for promotions, your best bet is to sleep with your manager.

Lacking any specific knowledge, you use acronyms to avoid revealing your utter lack of experience. You have convinced yourself that your skills are in demand and that you could get a higher paying job with any other organisation in a heartbeat. You will spend an eternity contemplating these career opportunities without ever taking direct action.

As a person that profits from the success of others, you are disdained by most people who actually work for a living. Paid on commission and susceptible to alcoholism, your ulcers and frequent heart attacks correspond directly with fluctuations in the stock market.

Partner, president or CEO
You are brilliant or lucky. Your inability to understand complex systems such as the fax machine suggests the latter.

1 comment:

  1. Where is this important contirbutor?

    Corporate attorney: vain, obsessed with ski trips to Vermont, and what kind of BMW to buy, your joy comes in killing every bit of fun and possible business deals that your company might randomly seek. You carry 3 types of phones, ironically enjoy sexually harassing yur secretary and wear some truly ghastly suits? Least compatible with: everyone.


Leave me some grey matter.