1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair
dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice!
3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask If they want fries with
4. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over
their caffeine addictions, switch to Espresso.
5. In the memo field Of all your checks, write 'For Marijuana'.
6. Skip down the hall rather than walk and see how many looks you get.
7. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
8. Specify that your drive-thru order 'Is to go.'
9. Sing along at the opera.
10. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party
because you have a headache.
11. When the money comes out of the ATM scream 'I won! I won!'
12. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot yelling 'Run
for your lives! They're loose!'
13. Tell your children over dinner, 'Due to the economy, we're going to have
to let one of you go.'
And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity.....
14. Pick up a box of condoms at the pharmacy, go to the counter and ask
where the fitting room is.
Welcome to the Kingdom
2 months ago